Hmmmm

"Hmmmm, There hasn't been a post to this incredible blog in quite some time. " you may say. Fret not. I have not been eaten by alligators or homosexuals and I am here to grace you with another post for your reading pleasure. Truth be told I had an experience lately. An experience that has left me in a state of confusion and dazedness if you will (I'm a wordsmith you see) for which has taken me almsot 2 months to recover. For I have had a birthday one of our cultures worst inventions.

For those who has not experienced a birthday I will give you an explanation. Here's the definition from Websters dictionary "An event upon a individual becomes older. Sometimes into an old Grey decrepit person and loses their ability to do anything useful." See essentially a birthday is what brings us down from the fun loving children of yesteryear and makes us hateful realistic adults who hate the world and ourselves for what we have become.

Also may cause you to dress like this

Each birthday brings us that much closer to meeting our maker. For those not keeping score birthdays are the reason were dying. If it we stopped having birthdays we'd simply all live forever. Man has attempted over and over again to prevent aging. There is the old fountain of youth and people have searched the world for centuries for (not hard enough if they haven't found it yet). Today there's a bucket load of crazies who are convinced that diet, exercise and not doing drugs are the key to prolonging life.

I am here today to tell you that there are other ways to look young and live forever which never leaving the comfort of your parents basement and eating all the Cheetos you want. Just head over to get a pair of Alex Chiu's immortality rings. These little miracles actually revere aging and make you better looking. I'm actually ordering a pair right now. Its on the internet so it has to work right? because the internet is serious fucking business.